That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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