mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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