I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
