Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
