well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
