Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
so much tequila, so little girl.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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