but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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