Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
