You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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