Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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