I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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