i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
