He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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