its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I just want nice things and good sex
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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