idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
high people should be assigned attendants
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
