Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
This house was built for laser tag.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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