We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize