Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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