I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
