You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
So much rum. So many feels.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
