maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I'm at about main and main street
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
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