I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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