He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
