apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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