i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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