I think I won the penis lottery.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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