come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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