Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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