It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
