Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
