My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Randomize
