im drinking this country out of the recession.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Don't tell me you're on acid again
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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