If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
