Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
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