So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
