spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
