Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Randomize
