just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
