I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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