i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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