I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
