why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize