I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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