I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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