just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
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