I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
