I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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