awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize