My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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