all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
