Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
