before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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