Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
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