I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
