I need help removing her.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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