Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
