If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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