woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
